


Always and Forever

by SeeThemFlying



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Bittersweet angst fest, F/M, I really shouldn't have watched that White Book scene again, I'm crying, I'm still too emotional about all this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-02 23:37:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19451833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeeThemFlying/pseuds/SeeThemFlying
Summary: It's been many years but, for Brienne, some feelings never go away.





	1. Always and Forever

During the summer, he was everywhere; in the flowers, in the trees, in the bright blue sky. When she found herself on horseback visiting the most isolated parts of the realm with Pod by her side, she thought of the days when she had had to carry a heavy chain half way across the Riverlands. Lady Catelyn had expected her to be a diligent guard, to treat him firmly and with disdain, and trade him for her daughters. That plan was the first in her life that had not gone the way she had expected it would; she had never anticipated a surrendered hand, a story about wildfire, a defeated bear, and an encroaching respect that she had never been able to shake.

She would spend the autumns in King’s Landing which, as the years passed, grew to a size closer to what it had once been. Avoiding the Red Keep as much as possible, she would go down to the gardens by the sea where they had once talked about Sansa Stark, and she would remember how well his gold hair and green eyes had looked in the dappled light. The sword and squire had seemed a promise of something more next time they met, and, as she had looked back at him as she departed, she had realised she loved him with all her heart. She would never let go.

The winters were the worst. They reminded her of the horrors of war, of the gnashing teeth of faceless wights and the strange blue eyes of the Others. She would make sure she had some business in the south during those days, so she didn’t have to feel the bitter frozen air that reminded her of monsters on the horizon. Even though she was leagues away from the North, she still felt cold. There had only ever been one thing that could keep her warm during winter, and that had been his body against hers in the darkened rooms of Winterfell, his kisses pressed into her mouth. Yet even that warmth had been taken away, when he had left her during a night poisoned by self-hatred. He had been unable to see what she saw, unable to see his own reflection after years of darkness, and had removed himself from her arms to embrace death. At the close of a long ago winter, she had written his story – their story, how it really was – in the White Book and closed it tight. She never read it again, for every word was inscribed deep within.

It was during a spring, many years later, when flowers grew in the meadows and the glaciers melted to create new streams, that Brienne knew she was coming to her end. Pod was by her side in her final days, with his wife making soup and his children visiting. On a day which they both knew was the last, he was crying, clasping Brienne’s hand with all the force he could muster. There was grey in his beard now and his daughter was expecting a child. If it was a girl, they were going to name her after the Evenstar.

“They’re stuck on a boy's name, though,” said Pod, sniffling, plumping her pillows. “Maybe Selwyn, or Brandon, or Podrick after me. I don’t like that – who would curse their son with a name like that?”

“Podrick’s a great name,” Brienne managed to wheeze, even as disease wracked her weakening body. “There never was a more loyal squire, or better knight.”

“Still, I don’t like it,” said Pod, blushing at the compliment. “Can you think of a better name, Ser?”

There was only ever one name.

“Jaime,” she said quietly. “Jaime is a lovely name.”

Podrick looked startled. “All this time? Even after all these years?”

“Always,” she said simply. “Always and forever.”

When she finally convinced Pod to let her close her eyes and go to sleep, she wasn’t scared. Brienne of Tarth had always been brave, after all, and this was just the next battle to face.

And, anyway, if the gods were good, she could be with him.

Always and forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I'm just hormonal and emotional this evening, and for some reason I thought it was a good idea to watch the White Book scene on Youtube. This is the result.
> 
> PS. George, please finish these damn books. Please. This isn't how it ends.


	2. Meadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm out of my emotional slump about this. I'm bringing a tiny slice of joy.

She opened her eyes, embracing the pleasant warmth of the sun on her skin.

Without needing to look around, she knew she was on a beach on Tarth, lying on the sand. It just smelt that way, felt that way, and the place thrummed with the well-known comfort of a long ago home. It was intensely familiar; she could smell the salt sea and the scent of the flowers from the nearby meadows. Everything was magnified tenfold. It was life with the colours enhanced and all the pain drained away.

Who knew death would be like this?

She didn’t know how long she stayed lying on the beach – it could have been ten seconds, ten minutes, ten weeks, or ten thousand years – but before long she got to her feet, inspecting her hands. They were a young person’s hands, with soft smooth skin. The scars of age and years of fighting were gone. Instead, she looked as if she had just got out of the baths of Harrenhal, young and alive forever.

Taking the long path, she walked up the beach and through a wooded area before she got to the meadow with the flowers. Poppies and peonies smiled at her, the birds sang, and the grass felt soft and pleasant between her toes. Was this paradise? Was this limbo? Was this her dying mind playing tricks on her?

She realised she didn’t care when she saw a familiar face.

His hair was as gold and his eyes as bright as they had been on the day they discussed Sansa Stark in the gardens in King’s Landing, but all the worry and pain was washed away. The look in his eyes was full of wonder, gratitude, and awe. It was identical to the expression he had been wearing on that cold night in Winterfell when he had knighted her.

“I’ve been waiting,” he said gently.

“So have I.” Those many years of longing seemed like seconds now he was here.

“I didn’t think you’d come. After so long… I thought you wouldn’t want me to be here.”

“Never,” she whispered, extending a hand to him. It was then she noticed he had two hands. “Only ever you.”

When he entwined his fingers with hers, she thought she might cry.

“Let’s go, wench.”

“Where?”

He squeezed her fingers. “Wherever is next.”

So they went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that little add on. I'm feeling slightly less heartbroken about this ship today!


End file.
